Welcome to the jokes hub
   
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Each week the best submissions will be selected and displayed on this page for everyone to enjoy.
As the number of jokes grows, we will build a catalogue which all contributors will have access to - so make the most of everyone else's humor by sharing some of your own.

 
In runner-up slot for joke of the week:
There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head,but only a half head. The boy said he would go ask his manager about the matter.
The boy walked into the back room and said, "There is some asshole out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce."
As he was finishing saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman wants to buy the other half."
The manager OK'd the deal and the man went on his
way. Later the manager called on the boy and said, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here.
Where are you from, son?" The boy replied, "Limerick,
sir."
"Oh really? Why did you leave Limerick?" asked the manager.
The boy replied, "They're all just whores and rugby players down there."
"My wife is from Limerick!!"
The boy replied, "Really? What team did she play for?"

 
Joke of the week
This little boy and his grandfather are fishing. Granddad pulls out a beer and the little boy says "Grandpa, can I have one of those?"
Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your asshole?"
to which the little boy responds "No."
"Then you can't have one."

A while later, the granddad pulls out a cigar and the boy asks, "Can I have on of those?"
Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your asshole?"
to which the little boy responds "No."
"Then you can't have one."

Later on, Grandpa and Grandson go to the grocery store for food and each buy a lottery ticket. Grandpa is unlucky, but the little boy says "I just won $50,000"
Grandpa says, "Great, your going to split that with me, right?"

The little boy asks, "Grandpa, is your penis long enough to touch your asshole?"
"Yes," Says grandpa.
"Then go f*** yourself"

 
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